Bottom shaming is real and a lot of it stems from misogyny and our history with culture and race. Prejudice against women seems to have made its way into our culture. It originates from the idea that dominant masculinity is the idea of G.I. Joe soldiers and femininity equivocates to Betty Cocker pots and Easy Bake Ovens. Because someone enjoys being penetrated by a penis like a woman would in her vagina, it’s as if similar struggles woman face in society apply to our own subculture, yet we’re the ones leading our own illiberal mob. Bottoming is looked upon as emasculating, ripping away at one’s manhood with every thrust. Well, guess what? Surprise! Men do not have vaginas. We’re all still men.
Don’t you dare be sexually liberated and like to bottom either; that’s the illogical theme. Society praises men for the amount of “game” they have when it comes to dating and sex. The more sexual partners a man can add to their roster, the more credit he builds and the more men and women want to invest in hime; unless you’re a bottom. Then you’re a cum pig and a whore.
People label the “Sex and the City” character Samantha Jones of as “the ho,” and men who bottom seem to face the same treatment if they dare to openly embrace their sexuality. Sure, statistics show that the receptive partner is at a higher risk of contracting STIs like HIV, especially if the insertive partner is uncircumcised and ejaculates. But both men are responsible for taking the correct preventative measures to have a healthy, pleasurable sex life.
I’ve watched gay men who identify as tops verbally degrade bottoms. Labeling men who bottom as “my hos” when they were the ones having more random sex than their partners.
We have to stop letting people’s sexual roles be a representation on how we digest our brother’s character and reputation. We already have enough battles to fight with stereotypes that mainstream media and society label the LGBT community. What you enjoy sexually as a man does not define who you are, nor does it suggest how we treat each other.
Some men like makeup. Some men don’t. Some men wear fitted baseball caps. That same man can have a weekly manicure appointment. Some men are more feminine than others. There are far more than 50 shades of gay, and until we stop stereotyping and degrading each other it is only going to slow the process of social acceptance and equality. We all play for the same team.