So I found myself a good one and he’s giving, thoughtful, committed, and consistent and you’re happy together. However, I thought the good relationships don’t need a sane amount of work to keep the relationship strong.

I used to roll my eyes at the people who claimed they rarely argue and called each other “babe.” I just assumed that it really wasn’t possible for two human beings to like each other and get along most of the time, and I thought these unicorns-and-rainbows couples must be insufferable or they were just plain liars. More likely the latter, right?

But now I’m kind of one of these jerks, living with someone who’s thoughtful, considerate, and reasonable traits that, given my relationship history, still blow me away. Meeting him reminded me that I did see an example of a successful same sex couple growing up.

But I don’t want to take my relationship for granted or neglect it. The thing: I don’t see it as work if it’s something you want to do, but what if I don’t want to do the work? What if things are perfectly imperfect and I don’t feel the need to constantly work on our relationship when it’s quite fine?

I don’t want to be flippant and imply that I have it easy because I have someone who gets and supports me completely. I just don’t like the effort that goes with “working” on a relationship. Am not deserving of my current relationship?

3 Comments Add yours

  1. renudepride says:

    Anything that is worth having requires some type of energy. Unless someone wants to spend those long nights alone, then investing the time and effort into building a relationship is worth everything. Good post. Naked hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. pdq says:

    If you never perform maintenance on your car – never change the oil, rotate the tires, change the air filter……what will happen to that car? To take it to the extreme – what if you don’t want to bother putting gas in it? What’s going to happen to that car? It’ll strand you on the side of the road. If you just walk away from it rather than getting it fixed and taking care of it, it’ll be towed away and you’ll lose it altogether.

    If you have a yard or garden and you don’t water it, what happens to it? It dies.

    My question for you is WHY don’t you want to put the work into it? I presume he’s willing to put the work into it, but it sounds like you just want to reap the benefits of his interest, his effort, his care. How long do you think that will go on before he says “screw it and screw you” and he walks?

    You don’t have to put anything into your relationship if you don’t want to. Just don’t expect the relationship to continue very long. Maybe you’re cut out more for being alone or for flitting from one random hook-up to the next. If so, own it. But it’s really not fair to deceive your man and make him waste his time thinking you want to be in a relationship with him when you don’t..

    Liked by 1 person

  3. PDQ says:

    Do you actually get any traffic? Who views this site? Because the only two people who seem to comment are me and RenudePride. Are you asking deliberately provocative questions that no one ever reads?

    Liked by 1 person

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