49116977_290525531602675_7223226417310334976_nWhether we initially jump to remember our successes or failures, we should take stock of both the high and low points. The successes and failures allow us to connect with our emotions and deeper learning from those experiences. Though the triumphs prompt us to feel more celebratory towards what we’ve accomplished, we can also train our minds to look at the failures in a similar light.

48379923_723047964740093_7399625452916047872_nFirst, we must accept our perceived failures for exactly what they are, failures. Through this recognition, we can identify with what those failures felt like at the moment and what they feel like now. Alongside the emotions that bubble up, we can also observe how these memories arise through physical sensations in the body.

48379444_737342579998195_4200009232692543488_nSo we begin by bringing ourselves back to that moment of perceived failure. What did it feel like? What emotions were involved? Who was involved? Accepting our own failures can be a challenge, so if we find ourselves avoiding the subject entirely or step into the role of the self-critic, we can internally repeat: “I give myself permission to feel and witness failure. It is okay to fail. I am always learning through my failures.”

48397236_223166305243534_7221828036088299520_nOnce we call our awareness back to recalling the experience, we can continue to become observant of what comes up through the body, breath, emotions, and mind.

48407975_712231095837007_4562582061059145728_nOf course, no one likes failure, whether it’s a minor slip up or a larger event. Inevitably, our emotions will stir as we confront our failures, but this is the natural process before transformation can occur.

48419167_200901040864020_7906759037855727616_nAs difficult, awkward or uncomfortable as it may feel, we can open the gateway to allow the failure and everything involved to be seen. If we felt regret from the failure, we can label it as just that, regret. If we felt disappointment from the failure, again, we can label it as just that, disappointment. And if we are steered away towards other mental stories around the failure, we can simply repeat the first word that comes to mind, for example: frustration, frustration, frustration. Once we zone into the main reactions of our failure, we invite the failure to release.

48420614_778912999126138_791664181773336576_nThere are many techniques for emotional and mental release, but it is always important to acknowledge what you are letting go first. One method is repeating a statement like, “I see you (anger) and now I release you (anger).” When we are able to identify with the source of what we are sending out, we not only confront the truth around it, but we remove the tendencies towards avoidance and/or attachment. When we are exploring this form of release, it is important to notice what is happening in the body and the breath as you repeat this statement. If you feel emotions arise, welcome them. If you feel the breath excite, observe that experience too. Once you repeat your personal statement enough until you linger into a state of calm, notice. You can ask yourself what shifted: the breath? Sensations? Emotions?

48421457_315311259318918_2993217327681503232_nFailure doesn’t always have to be viewed as shameful, embarrassing, and the spectrum of other relevant emotions. Instead, failure can sometimes hold more power than our successes in positive ways.

49072184_1776147835825059_7249940774589038592_nAfter we have observed the gamut of thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations associated with the failure, we can ask the question: “What has this failure taught me?” If you are having trouble locating what that lesson is, we can further inquire with: “What did I do or not do that resulted in the failure?” “Did it negatively impact me or someone else?” “Knowing what I do now, how would I approach the situation in the future?”

48897891_2472347826115893_7722391102749147136_nAs before, we simply watch to observe. What comes up? Is our lesson rooted in career growth? Relationship growth? Individual growth? What has the lesson revealed about how we interact, how we use our intuition, how we use our willpower? Questions like these can be a starting point for how we can guide ourselves into the deeper meaning.

49103576_446308312569921_6801552970639998976_nWhat happens when we finally understand the lesson? Like anything that we learn in life, we increase our knowledge and wisdom. When we enhance this personal growth, we gain more inner power. We discover something that we otherwise wouldn’t have if we did not experience the teaching. Once we identify the lesson, we can celebrate a new growth that will lead us to a new, future success. And just as we acknowledged the failure, we can also acknowledge the success in our new learning: celebrate this learning as an aid to your growth and future success.

One Comment Add yours

  1. renudepride says:

    Great “new year” advice, my Bahama buddy! Naked hugs!


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