Many of us are into some pretty kinky stuff. At least once a day, the thought passes through our minds on how lucky we are to be alive now, in a time when we can enjoy the things we enjoy without debilitating, immobilizing fear. Our forebears fought for this. Countless lobbyists, antagonists, and grassroots activists fought so that many of us can be the sluts we want to be and experience the beauty and liberation of sex without the threat of death in every encounter.
Many queer men love the random sex that pride season brings, it seems to be more intimate, more erotic, more powerful and all the finger wagging from the other side of this activity won’t change the fact that many (most) gay men will partake is sex, many bareback. All the slut-shaming and moralizing denouncements this sexual behavior won’t change this fact.
Call it an idealistic point of view, but the fight against AIDS was never only about finding new and better drugs, getting attention, and creating policies (too few and too late to save the thousands of lovers and friends that were lost). It was always about liberating us from the stigma of AIDS, fighting shame and prejudice and fear. The fact that we can live an openly sexual life and enjoy my carnivorous sexual desires is the victory.
Liberating gay men from the stigma of HIV & AIDS, many are now free to indulge in their carnivorous sexual selves. Though a part of me sympathizes with the fear, I can’t go all in as too many of us were taught taught sex-phobia from day one. We equated that phobia not just with sex, but with the very nature of being who we are. How many of us felt abject terror upon discovering our true selves: “I can’t be gay. I don’t want to die from AIDS.”
That terror of this disease is lifting, and it needs to keep lifting and thought pride season may crank up our promiscuity, why is our promiscuity itself so horrendous?
It’s not. It’s what we love, and what we love isn’t wrong. The fact that we are here and are able to talk about sexual fulfillment and condom-less sex as viable options with various safer sex options on the table is a good thing, right?