Can you love someone but fuck another guy?
The answers to such a question would be mixed, with some calling gay men in open relationships greedy and selfish while others will say it’s up to people in relationships to define what their relationships are. Whether you think being in open to open relationships comes with age and experience this subject isn’t so black and white.
Why does someone else’s personal relationship get you so angry? Why does the idea of two grown men developing a relationship that suits their needs make you feel the need to tell them their relationship is not ‘a real relationship’?
Now many would argue that someone’s anger towards gay men in open relationships is probably a reflection on themselves, their insecurities, age or experience. That’s not for me to state. However I feel the time is right for us, as a community, to have an (excuse the pun) open and honest conversation about open relationships. To break down the stigma attached to them we need to explore and educate.
And why do we need to educate? We have heard from so many gay men, over and over again, that they thought they were in an monogamous relationship only to find that their partner has passed on an STI or HIV to them.
If we can break down the stigma and stereotyping of open relationships, then gay men who are in monogamous relationships and may be thinking about having sex with someone who is not their partner, might be more open to having an honest talk with their partner about their needs and desires. If you are so anti-open relationships but your partner is not feeling the same way, do you think he’s going to discuss something like this with you?
Think about it.