32734091_231597500924067_3763564534497804288_n_231597497590734Can you love someone but fuck another guy?

The answers to  such a question would be mixed, with some calling gay men in open relationships greedy and selfish while others will say it’s up to people in relationships to define what their relationships are. Whether you think being in open to open relationships comes with age and experience this subject isn’t so black and white.

Why does someone else’s personal relationship get you so angry? Why does the idea of two grown men developing a relationship that suits their needs make you feel the need to tell them their relationship is not ‘a real relationship’?

Now many would argue that someone’s anger towards gay men in open relationships is probably a reflection on themselves, their insecurities, age or experience. That’s not for me to state. However I feel the time is right for us, as a community, to have an (excuse the pun) open and honest conversation about open relationships. To break down the stigma attached to them we need to explore and educate.

And why do we need to educate? We have heard from so many gay men, over and over again, that they thought they were in an monogamous relationship only to find that their partner has passed on an STI or HIV to them.

If we can break down the stigma and stereotyping of open relationships, then gay men who are in monogamous relationships and may be thinking about having sex with someone who is not their partner, might be more open to having an honest talk with their partner about their needs and desires. If you are so anti-open relationships but your partner is not feeling the same way, do you think he’s going to discuss something like this with you?

Think about it.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. renudepride says:

    A very interesting and provocative proposition. I hope that our community can take your suggestions to heart. However, is now the time for such consideration? 🙂 Naked hugs!


  2. Brion says:

    The lack of disclosure at the very beginning of getting to know someone. By the 2nd or 3rd date, both parties should know if the other person has monogamy in mind, or an open relationship.
    Avoiding such conversation leads to mistrust, and perpetuates – in the minds of many people, both straight and day, that “people cannot be trusted.”
    If you cannot state clearly what you want, without fear, you are not ready for a deeply emotional and spiritual relationship. Trying to get what you want without full dislosure is the mark of an immature mind.


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