67820671_500093380741143_3571524757008416768_o_500093374074477If you were to ask anyone close to me, they’ll say I was a sexual deviant. But, the truth is, almost 100% of my past endeavours were at best unsatisfying and, in the past couple of years, also increasingly fleeting.

It’s not because my encounters were necessarily ‘bad’ that my sex drive has decreased, it’s because I’ve never really understood the craving for sex more than I do for intimacy.

Recently I had fun sex with a guy I’m really attracted to, but more often the experience leaves me with such a sense of ‘betrayal’ in myself after he has zipped up and left that in the most part I don’t enjoy sex.

‘I identify somewhere between homoromantic asexuality and graysexual, or ‘gray-ace’’

I continue because identifying as a gay man means having sex with men, and sometimes I find the diamond in the rough that can stoke the fire of my dwindling sexual desires.

But, what if I’m trying to tell myself something else about my sexual and emotional identity?

On the rare occasion I enjoy sex it has to be with someone I’ve developed a connection, sexual or emotional, with over time which should be the way it is anyway, right?

But when it comes to being online, I don’t look for sex to have sex, it’s superfluous to me, I look for it as a single man because it’s the shortest road to imaginary feelings of intimacy, as damaging as they may be, especially if it goes against my sexual nature.

Can I still consider myself to be gay?

Have you ever been in this situation?

 What are your thoughts?

 What advice would you give this person?

3 Comments Add yours

  1. cvelallen says:

    You are now on a higher level my friend. You enjoy that highest level of sex. It is the mental relationship of the mind, body and soul. It is ultra rare to find someone who share this level of elevation. Most men, have no idea what we are talking about because they don’t want to take the time to connect. “The grass is not always greener on the other side” Most men share this common belief. Therefore , Most are looking for something quick and temp. Shame..because that connection that we speak of can and will last you far longer than physical sex…………… Hope this is not too deep for you.. just think about it… it will make sense…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love this 👍🏽


  2. Leonard Wise says:

    I would be a willing participant


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