I never planned to date a guy in an open relationship. It wasn’t that I was so gung-ho on monogamy, I just figured it wasn’t for me. I’m too jealous, can be needy and didn’t like the idea of being shared. Besides, everyone I knew growing up was monogamous. My parents. My grandparents. Their friends and so on.
Now, however, I find myself dating men in open and/or polyamorous relationships. So I was banging man after man. I even started dating some guys both of whom wanted to be monogamous. When I rejected them it brought them to tears.
I realized then that my sex/dating rampage was actually hurting people, so I needed to cool it and not date at all. Just keep having sex and not getting attached. The thing is the men that I hurt still bothers me and I can’t seem to shake them.
Why is it so hard to have open relationships with other men?