Why is it often easier to view the weaknesses in other people’s relationships than it is to cast a critical eye over one’s own?

I have sometimes been guilty of being so head over heels in love – or infatuation – to overlook the fact the feelings are not being reciprocated. Maybe being blind to love was the key factor for me in those situations.

Other times, I’ve allowed niggling little concerns to eat away at me, choosing to stay silent rather than rock the boat. Or I simply postpone awkward conversations until they can be postponed no longer: sometimes beyond the point when they’ve already begun to dangerously erode feelings of affection.

Why is it so hard to ask other significant others:

 ‘What would you like to do differently?’

 ‘What’s going well in our relationship?

‘What’s going not so well?

How preferable, and possibly smoother things would run, if we did remind ourselves to have such conversations on a regular basis? To attempt to nip concerns in the bud before they blossom into relationship-threatening flashpoints.

What would be better? Telling your partner one month you’re a feeling bit fed up with your sexual routine and find yourself tempted to look elsewhere, or waiting a year and telling them you’ve been having an affair for the past few months?

2 Comments Add yours

  1. nubianikigai says:

    I think opening up and letting our feelings out is a tough battle. It’s difficult enough opening up and being honest to ourselves let alone opening up to someone else, irrespectful of whom that person maybe.

    What I’ve found is the safer I feel around someone, the more I’m willing to open and share. If I constantly fear being judged, corrected, or stigmatised then I tend to want to keep stuff to myself. The people I’ve been the most open to, were the ones,who just listened. They didn’t have the answers, they just provided an ear and simpley encouraged me to speak my mind. I feel really at ease with people I don’t have to apologise to for being who I am and saying what l have to say. I open up to people with whom I can be real with.

    If you can’t be real with your mom, dad, friend or lover, then the result will inevitbly be the same. Everything will just be bottled up inside, and explode in a heated arguement, or when your caught in the act with your pants down.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love how you break it down 👍🏽


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