I’m dating two guys who are a couple. They’ve been together for six years & they’ve invited me to be a third in their relationship.

As a thruple we’ve been together for a year and recently they decided to make our three-way relationship closed – to just the three of us. Which is great. I feel really happy about that. But I’m worried that they’ll get bored of me and want to move on without me. I guess I just feel a little left out on my own. I don’t live with them and although I don’t necessarily want that, I do feel on the outside.

What should I do not to feel on the outside and what do I do if they decide to open up the relationship again – or move on without me?

Have you ever had to deal with this?

What are your thoughts?

What advice would you give this person?

2 Comments Add yours

  1. renudepride says:

    My advice? Enjoy what you have as long as it lasts! 🙂


  2. nubianikigai says:

    It’s interesting that you should find yourself in this situation as I’ve recently been having a similar conversation with my boyfriend. Should we or should we not open our relationship up to a third person? We didn’t have an arguement but we both had diverging ideas of what this third person should represent in our relationship. Personally I’d like to have a real triangle/thruple but my partner would like a unicorn a N.S.A (no string attached) relationship.

    The question I ask myself also though, like yourself is why have a third person? isn’t my partner enough? what is our relationship lacking?, Are we tired of us being just two?, But then the same question can be said of any couple who wants to have kids. Why have kids? But the answer to this is multifaceted: as a mature couple and this is not unique to gay couples, the idea of exploring and going further is one aspect of growth that many couples see with a negative eye. Sometimes, it’s the idea of giving love to someone else, just because there is so much love to give, just like wanting a baby. I often think about living as a thruple: going on vacation, being at home, cooking, sharing ideas etc.

    If i should quote RuPaul, she said “the first part of bieng confident is knowing what you bring to the party and being satisfied with that”: Begin by asking yourself, what do you bring to the relationship? then you could ask yor boyfriends. why did they decide to close off to only three people, why did they choose you to begin with?

    I know its hard to be the third wheel or being the last one picked, in the same way being invited to the party six years after, you may feel that you’re at a disadvantage the fact that you weren’t there since the biginning, but if you look at it this way, you’re also at the beginning of this thruple. You’re at the beginning of this new experience, this new journey. Have either one of you been in a thruple before?

    Liked by 1 person

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