Are you the kinda of man that isn’t exactly a ātopā or a ābottom,ā although if things go there, youāll be find with it? Are you the kind of āversatileā manĀ that if you could get away with it, youād spend most of the rest of my sex life just making out and cuddling?
Now I get that making out and cuddling would dim your future prospects with guys who leave your bed smiling on the outside and disappointed on the inside, but what do we do when the labels of ātopā or a ābottomā leaves you feeling as if youāre just going to bottom, youāre nothing?
Despite attempts to track down a missing biological link (which inadvertently and incorrectly implies that anal sex ā and by extension, topping and bottoming ā are strictly gay things or even defining gay things), thereās no conclusive evidence that whether we consider ourselves ātopsā or ābottomsā is not ultimately and literally a matter of sexual preference. Even if we were predisposed to enjoy one role over the other, the labels would not be indivisible from who we are the way race, gender, and sexual orientation are.
Ā Can we legitimately use them to victimize one group and demonize another in the same vein? What a lovely gay world it would be if we didnāt divide and limit ourselves by obsessing over labels in the first place. Think of all the potential Mr. Rights we wouldnāt miss out on just because they checked a certain box on Grindr.
Versatile should be the new black. Thatās not just āversatileā as in flexible enough to flip in bed, but also flexible enough to transcend ātypeā-casting (āBearsā only! āMascā only!), and especially flexible enough to have great sex without āTop or bottom?ā being the crux of it.
Thereās so much more to great sex, and anyone who thinks there isnāt hasnāt been doing it right.