There are hundreds of articles about how to tell whether the guy or the girl you are seeing is a sex addict. But what if you think that your own sexual behavior is getting out of control? Is your insatiable appetite for sex a normal thing, or it’s more of a clinical condition? Here are some questions that can help you test your libido.
DO YOU BECOME EXTREMELY IRRITABLE IF YOUR PARTNER WITHHOLDS YOU FROM SEX WHEN YOU DEMAND IT?
Feeling uptight because you are not getting any is OK but anger is definitely not a normal response to a “No”. You can’t expect to get laid on the second the thought about sex invades your mind and your groins. After all, sex cannot be assumed just because you bought someone a drink or somebody told you that the guy you have asked out is “always up to it.” Agitation and anger are a clear sign that something is wrong.
DO YOU MASTURBATE A LOT?
And by “a lot” we mean insanely a lot. The main thing about sex addiction is that sex or thinking about it occupies a major part of one’s awake time. And the fact the there is no person available for sex at a given moment won’t stop the addict from having it! If you masturbate every time you happen to be alone, whether at home, in the copy room, or at your grandparents’, that’s a sign that you have the opposite of a healthy sex drive.
DO YOU ENGAGE IN RISKY OR INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL ACTIVITIES?
A lot of us fantasize about having naughty sex in a dark movie theatre or on a car’s back seat with a Uber driver. For sex addicts, however, this urge is much stronger and can manifest itself in high-risk behavior. Public sex, sex without protection with random call boys, exhibitionism, voyeurism, sex under the influence of opioids are just a few of the dangerous activities that may send a person obsessed with sex to the hospital or the police station.
DO YOU KEEP LYING TO YOUR PARTNER AND EVERYBODY ELSE?
Just like Kevin Costner’s character in Mr. Brooks (2007) who is a respected businessman by day and a vicious serial killer by night, sex addicts, too, tend to live double lives. Especially if they are in a stable relationship! As they have little or no control over their sexual urge, cheating becomes their second nature. Because they can’t get enough sex from their partner, they are constantly seeking it in other places. Simply put, they have to keep up with the lies if they want to keep both their partner and the option for extramarital sexual activities.
ARE YOU OVERWHELMED BY FEELINGS OF SHAME AND REGRET?
At some point, the sex addict finds oneself being stuck in the vicious circle of hypersexuality followed by an intense feeling of self-loathing and repentance. Although you are aware of this repetitive pattern, you are unable to break it no matter how much you want it.
DO YOU HAVE THE FEELING THAT YOUR LIFE IS PUT ON HOLD?
You are not in a relationship, because you find it difficult to stay in one for more than a couple of weeks. The problem is that by your standards, no-one is sexually-charged enough to keep up with you. Thinking constantly about sex and how to get it can result in serious consequences not only for your mental health but also for your social and personal life. Productivity at work can also be at risk, which is logical, given that you concentrate more on touching yourself and eyeing the good-looking colleagues and less on your work assignments.
We are not the voice that has to substitute the advice of a healthcare professional, but if you are exhibiting most of the above symptoms, you’d better consult one. A psychologist or a specially trained social worker can help you address the underlying factors that cause your sex addiction, and teach you how to cope with the persisting thoughts and feelings.
SOURCE: ANDREW CHRISTIAN