Every single gay male has heard the following naive question: which one of you is “the woman” and which is “the man”?

This is a question only posed to me by my family who seemed absolutely flummoxed about the nature of gay sex. Flummoxed! Of course the proper retort is, “We’re both men!” That’s the whole point of gay boning, all. But the thirst to understand which boy is putting his P in an A and which boy has opened his A for P is really about making gay sex legible, and legible in a heterosexual context and I am tired of this.

I just wish people would leave things alone keep their noses out of my bedroom business.

Have you ever had to deal with this?

What are your thoughts?

What advice would you give this person?

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