With the means of advanced modern technology, it seems that we gay men are more connected than ever before. The internet especially has helped us create a global communication network where in a split of a second we can share ideas and interact with others from any part of our planet. And yet it seems that we are more hungry for connection than ever before. No matter how many online “friends” or “followers” we have on social media, most feel alienated. That’s because online relationships are only skin-deep, unable to provide us with a true sense of intimacy and bonding. Text messages can’t substitute for in-person conversations, emoticons cannot substitute for body language expression, and cybersex can’t substitute for physical contact.
At the same time, due to the conflict and violence that prevails in our society, most gay men have a hard time opening their hearts to others and forming intimate relationships, afraid that they might be hurt by them. To avoid that, they’ve created tall, thick walls around their hearts to protect themselves from any possible danger. And although the walls might prevent them from hurting others and being hurt, they also prevent them from loving others and being loved.
On top of that, we are living in a consumption-driven economic system (which is the main cause of the conflict and violence that exists in the world) where people are constantly feeling the pressure to buy products and services in order to keep the money moving in the economy. This pressure is being to a great extent enhanced by the advertising industry. How? By constantly trying to convince us that buying stuff is the solution to all of our problems. For example, if you feel lonely and unloved, advertisements are selling you products or services that will make you feel more confident, beautiful and attractive to others. In fact, most advertisements exploit our inherent need for social connection and bonding. That’s why you see sex is being sold to us all the time: to promise us the reward of connection.
Sex is being sold everywhere. In the movies we watch. In the magazines we read. In the clothes we wear. Day in and day out we are bombarded with countless sexual messages. Not surprisingly, many have become obsessed with sex, believing that it’s the only thing that truly matters in life. But regardless of how many love stories and “sexy” products we consume, we still feel empty inside and thirsty for more, because none of those things can provide us with what we truly long for: a genuine heart-to-heart connection.